Make Someone Feel Better Via Text Message (1)

You may have noticed that cheering up your friend is a slightly harder task when you're not there to give your friend a hug or a pat on the back. However, there are still ways you can show that you care when you're not having a face-to-face conversation. Here's how to do it for a close friend, as well as someone you're interested in dating.

Steps

Making a Friend Feel Better

1  Ask the other person what's wrong, just as you would in person. When a friend goes to the effort to clarify that something is wrong in their text message, it usually means they want to talk. As such, showing concern lets your friend know that you care and that you're willing to engage in a morale boosting text session. That's always a start to cheering someone up.

2   Let your friend explain the dilemma, and be a good listener. Even with phone screens separating you, there are still ways to show that you're genuinely "listening" and receptive. While your friend tells the story, you can text little comments like, 'That's awful', or, 'I'm so sorry about that'. However, overdoing it can have the exact opposite effect, so make sure your words sound (and truly are) genuine. Space them out so that you're not crowding the text conversation.

3   Say the things that you know will be most comforting. All friends have slightly different reactions to words of commiseration or support, so make sure to phrase your responses with the particular person's known reactions in mind. Definitely avoid saying anything that smacks of "I warned you" or "I told you so".

Remember that miscommunication is especially easy when you can't hear the person's tone of voice.

Avoid trash talking another person if they are the reason your friend is upset, especially if the third party is another mutual friend. Fights can be resolved, but you can never take back words you say in the heat of the moment.

4   Let them know you wish you could be there in person to cheer them up, especially if your friend is someone you are interested in. Say things like "I wish I could be there to give you a hug" or simply, "I wish I could be with you right now."

5   Give your friend some suggested advice about the problem. Friends help each other out, and so, your willingness to aid will show your friend that you do care and want to help try and make things better. The great thing about text is that any advice given needs to be short and to-the-point, usually the best kind of advice!

Sometimes no advice is best. Sometimes just agreeing to listen and being there for your friend is the best answer. Don't give advice if it's not wanted or if you don't have all the facts before you.

6   Try to help your friend to look on the bright side. Taking a friend's mind off the negatives is helpful to making him or her feel better. You might like to do this with a short and obviously funny joke, a quick anecdote about something amusing, or even a funny photo or video you have to share. You might even make your own funny face, photograph it, and send that to cheer up your friend!

7    Use emoticons. Many phones come with emoticon menus that let you pick the one that is most appropriate for the moment. Generally, the standard emoticons are 'happy', 'very happy', 'angry', 'sad', 'excited', 'laughing', etc. If your phone doesn't have emoticons, you can use smilies. The standard smile is ':)', but, like emoticons, smilies cover a broad range of emotions. Using them in text messages is cute, fun, and helps to better convey your feelings, which can sometimes be difficult in a texting medium.

8    Use symbols like '<3'. This particular symbol depicts a sideways heart and all heart symbols are cute, clever, and very useful in showing your affection and support. Another good one is 'XOXO'. And don't forget the value of simply saying "hugs". That can convey more than many other words could ever do.

9    Know when to end the texting. If your friend seems incredibly upset, end the texting. Either arrange to catch up face-to-face with your friend as soon as possible or suggest that you talk on the phone or Skype rather than text. Alternatively, you may sense that your friend is getting distracted and wants some time out from thinking about their problems, and this could be a good time to stop texting. And if all you get back from your friend are lots of smiles and hugs, you've done your job of cheering them up and you can tell them you'll catch them later.

to be continued...